Since our (previously mentioned) Forums coup is still raging, I thought I would introduce the latest member of That Happened to Me here, and use this opportunity to share her story.  She needs help.  She is not suddenly single, but in the midst of what sounds like a post-breakup identity crisis - a phase all too familiar to those of us who exited unhealthy relationships and began the path to self-discovery and re-definition.  Defining who you are when you are no longer part of a couple can be confusing and disheartening, as it often doesn’t happen overnight and certainly not without asking some tough questions.  But it can also be exhilarating and empowering when your true self starts to emerge and new path starts to unfold.  So ladies, let’s show “Beezy” how it’s done:

“I cannot continue to live my life the way I have been.”

“When I was 17 and about to graduate high school, I met a guy. We were together for a little more than four years, but the relationship was tumultuous (to say the least). He started relationships with several females while we were together, and had sex with three of them. Instead of leaving, I stayed because he convinced me that he would change. By the time I finally ended it I was 23 and had completely lost who I was as a person. I had gone from high school to house wife, and never really learned to grow up and take care of myself. I moved to another state to start school, and soon after found out he married my best friend. It has been four years since the relationship ended- I have not been in a relationship or had sex since, and I have only kissed three men. I try to talk to men, but I quickly lose interest and stop talking to them before anything can get physical. What started out as a voluntary hiatus from the dating world has turned into a permanent complex. I don’t know where to start or how to move forward. I get very uncomfortable meeting men and the few I have were forced upon me by friends who thought they were helping.

What advice do you have for me?”