This article, courtesy of The Frisky, was written by a woman who was dumped by her fiance and lived to tell the story.  I think her description of the emotional process that follows a major breakup is right on.  Mostly because it’s honest: she admits to pitstops in the ugly stages of grief and self-pity, (”Anything of a romantic nature in pop culture repulsed me, and for awhile all I watched was the news. It was depressing, just like me!“) but has now emerged on the other side; a little jaded, but not entirely bitter and without hope of future happiness.

However, she does think differently about the process of getting engaged, engagements and all the fuss about “putting a ring on it.”

“If anything, our engagement made our relationship less secure, because it brought out his fears and insecurities about what such a “permanent” commitment would mean. But even without an engagement, the longer our relationship had lasted, the greater the likelihood those fears and insecurities would have rise to the surface.”

She makes an excellent point.  As much as I enjoyed Beyonce strutting her stuff in a leotard, the premise suffers from a lot of loopholes.  Ladies, please be aware, an engagement ring secures nothing.  You are still susceptible to every relationship foible out there.  Plus, you’re adding the stress of the wedding planning and the realization that you’re about to make a huge commitment.  Not just to him, but his parents, friends, job, etc.  If you had any issues before (and most of us do), they will now be projected on to the giant mental screen in your head.  A ring won’t magically cure existing problems, and it doesn’t prove that a man you had some doubts about is going to suddenly morph into a good life partner.

To the contrary, if you and your man have a great relationship, you don’t need a ring to prove it.  If you’ve got an open line of communication and are on the same page as far as your mutual and individual goals, and share the same level of commitment to them, then you’re good!

And getting back to the author, she is fine.  Really.  She is not against marriage or family.  She might be a little more wary of them after her experience, but hey, who isn’t?  Our experiences are supposed to make us a little wiser, open our eyes just a little bit more and teach us something we didn’t know before.

The supposition that any woman who has gone through a broken engagement has been automatically converted into a preachy shrew needs to be tempered with a bit of reality.  Yes, it hurts.  Yes it makes us a little cuckoo for awhile, but it’s only temporary - ’till we get our bearings again and return to the living.

I think I could get used to driving around in this.....

Just discovered this new site that I think is AWESOME!

http://www.idonowidont.com was started by a guy whose fiancee ditched him unexpectedly, leaving behind the ring he so lovingly had picked out. Not wanting to continue to let it stare at him mockingly, he knew the only logical thing to do was to sell it. Not content with just selling it, he decided to start a company whereby other, ahem, suddenly detached singles could do the same.

I Do, Now I Don’t can handle the sale of your engagement or wedding ring, as well as any dresses or accessories you might be wanting to unload. They have their own gemologist on staff who will appraise the goods for you and they guarantee a safe, secure transaction.

This is the best thing to happen to breakups since the “pup-nup” (paperwork that determines who gets the pets). Now I just have to decide between convertible or Clubman. Hmmmm.

photo courtesy of freefoto.com